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i gave up smoking.
i gave up smoking. but i took up bunnies. aifinkso datz a much bettur addikshun!
The Letter
This last Monday I finally received the letter that I was hoping to receive. It came earlier than I thought it would. It’s the letter from my company telling me when I go back to work. February 20th is the estimated start date. It may be earlier than that. I’m excited too. My friend and coworker Leticia also received hers. The company sent them through email. The job site isn’t our usual place. It’s in the larger offices in the same city of the County.
I was enrolled in a daytime art course in college. So I had to drop it on that day. I wasn’t going to want to ask my manager for those days off. I need to work more than I need to be in school. I could have asked him to allow me to arrive late to work on those two days of class. But I didn’t even want to do that. The letter specifically stated that we were to adhere to certain hours for our schedule, due to the amount of and nature of the work.
Now I can sort of unwind and get ready to go back to work.
I went to a get-together at WISE Place. It was not as fun as the most recent get-together. It was nice to see Kathi Bowman. I did get a little dressed for the occasion. I can’t help but notice that I’m aging. I notice it the most when I try to put on makeup and a nice outfit, I just don’t look the same.
Which leads to another subject, hot flashes. I’m having them in a major way. I used to be able to blame it on the heat during the summer, or other stuff. But I am actually having one now as I write this. So anyone who reads this, please comment if you know of any kind of natural supplements I can take. I know about black cohosh. And I heard that flax seed oil is good for this too. I’ll be making a trip to the health food store soon.
My brother arrived in south California Thursday. He’s in San Diego now, working (volunteering) for a company from Missouri, at at trade show. I guess it’s a trial period, where he and this company decide if they like each other. He’s going to be here sometime around February 2nd to visit me and his friends in the area. He called me this morning. He sounded stressed and a little mad. It isn’t surprising, since he spent the entire weekend with his father (the person who is supposed to be my father too) and his wife.
It’s been raining a bit here. And it’s a little cold at night. But I can handle it, considering that I spent 2 months in weather that was quite a bit colder than this. Oh and it was this time last year that I moved into my apartment here. Actually it was the 23rd of last January.
I’ve been finding and making these pixel dolls online. I sort of have a collection of them now. I love them, they’re so cute. 
Last night my cat Nala was so cuddly. She’s so cute when she gets like this. I think she’s a moody little kitty. I was out for most of the day yesterday, so she probably missed me.
After the Holidays
Been doing a bit of thrift store shopping after the holidays. I have a new favorite store now. It’s called Savers
Today there was a huge, and I mean huge sale there today. I found these totally cute salt and pepper shakers.
I used my 20% off coupon for them. Every time you donate, they hand you a green card (no, not that kind of green card), with that discount on it. I used to say that Goodwill was my best place, but I found a new one. I bought a really cute Calvin Klein dress there last week for like almost nothing, like brand new. But I accidentally deleted it from my computer today, so can’t post the picture. The clothes that I take pictures of don’t look very good when I shoot them with my cheap digital camera anyway.
I’ve been sort of getting things for my place too. Like those plastic white storage bins with drawers, for my clothes. I picked up another one today there.
Yesterday I went to the WISE Place for a “Day of Self-Esteem”. The day was put together by a Jewish Synagogue. It was so fun. I got a free haircut and clothes galore. They also had jewelry and makeup for anyone who was there, all for free! When I went by the jewelry table nobody was looking or taking any jewelry. So the woman there encouraged me to take more than one item. I found the most beautiful brooch and a necklace for my mother. And they even gave me a box to put it in, so I can mail it on mother’s day. My friend Susie was there too. This is her going wild shopping through the clothes racks. And the garments were not cheap. There were brand name designers including JJil. And some of the clothes had the price and tags still on them.
This is Terri and the woman from the Synagogue, I forget her name. But she’s sooo nice.
All of that shopping yesterday prompted me to go home and get a pile of clothes ready for the donations at Savers.
Below is my kid (kitty) Nala.
My birthday was on the 6th. I didn’t take any pictures. But I went to brunch and had huevos rancheros at one of my favorite Mexican places. And then I went shopping. But I also had to fill my car with gas. So that kind of used up most of my birthday/shopping cash. Nevertheless, it was a good day, with lots of sunshine.
Last week I met with a couple of coworkers. We also went out for brunch and had Mexican. They’re from Mexico and said that the food was really good. They know, they said, from how good the salsa tastes. I didn’t take any pictures.
Even thought we don’t go back to work for a couple of more weeks, a few of us keep in touch. Not that they like to talk about work (they don’t), we still stay friends. Needless to say, I am totally looking forward to getting back into the swing of working.
The weather has been warm here. It’s been in the 80′s. But today it cooled off. And I think there was rain last night. I thought I heard it while I was laying in bed reading.
To a lot of people this may sound weird, but I have no television. And I don’t miss it. Sometimes I think that it would be nice to stay in and just watch the PBS channel. But I don’t have one, and I don’t know when I will.
I’ve been keeping a list of all the sewing patterns I want. So I again went to the Joannes fabric store nearby. There was a sale; Simplicity patterns for 99 Cents. But most of the patterns weren’t in stock. Then I came home and went through my boxes of patterns and took out the ones that are now too small for me. Size 10, so funny that I used to wear size 10. Well, they are going to the donations.
The idea that I now again have to collect the sewing supplies that I used to have, bugs me. I’ve been sewing my whole life. But when they were stolen up north, it was one of the losses that bothered me the most about the move.
I saw a Singer machine on sale there today for $99. That’s good. Maybe when I get my tax return money this year.
There are so many things that I need to buy.
It was funny, that last week I got a burst of energy and actually cleaned a lot more than usual, including 4 loads of laundry. And I also scrubbed the ground in my car port area. I cleaned the oil spots that were there. It’s great, I never tried that before. My mechanic gave me some powder to throw on the ground and it worked great. I bought some vinegar and mixed it with water and sprayed a lot around my kitchen. I like the smell of vinegar, it smells clean to me.
My kid Nala was peeing on my blankets. So I washed them all and sprayed them with some spray for cats, to make her stay off my blankets. It smells good too. It worked for about one and a half weeks. And then last night she peed again. I also got a can of really good smelling carpet shampoo and
sprayed the entire bedroom carpet with it.
A week from today it the first day of school, for the Spring semester. I cannot wait! I love school, like I did when I was a kid. I can’t wait to get to the art computer lab again.
I Wish I Had…
At this time of year I wish that I had a scanner. And not jut a scanner but a new iMac, printer to go with it. And also some nicer furniture. Not to mention all of the sewing supplies that I lost in the recent move. The list goes on and on.
My birthday is this Friday. Even thought I’m in a much better place than this time last year. I cannot believe that I am 51! Yeah, that is old.
I totally love Deviant Art. Here’s a new artist that I just found. Farmboy is what his profile says. Hmmmm. I’ve seen the prettiest art on this site. Here are some more.
Isn’t this cute? 
Bliss Bunny
And then there’s this genius:
Yuni
Some cute animation too! 
Perils of a Kitten
Isn’t art amazing? I think so, what do you think?
Here’s my little profile. Cinamingrl20
The weather here has been a strange 80 degrees. Yeah. It’s kinda hot. I have to put on the air in my apartment. And drink iced tea. And open the windows at night.
Do you ever wish that you could go back and relive your childhood years, knowing what you know now? I would.
At This Time of Year
As I sit here writing this post, listening to the cute sound of my kitty crunching her food I think, I’m safe here in my little place. And at this time of year I sometimes use the long days to clean and get ready for the coming year. I do some cleaning (more than usual. Anyone who knows me, knows that I dislike housework). I can usually get other things done like extra drawing, arranging stuff, taking clothes to be donated at the Goodwill, and just little things that I don’t normally like to do. I guess I have some sort of nervous energy this time of year, a few weeks before the day that I was born, which is January 6th.
I don’t know what the phenomenon is, but in late December and early January I get sort of antsy.
The school semester starts over in late January. And then I go back to work in February. And believe me, I’m looking forward to that. My brother is coming to California again too, yay! He’s trying out a new company to work for.
The weather has been unseasonably warm. Not just here, but up on northern California in the High Sierras, where I used to live. I recall in this time last year, there were huge blizzards happening up there and I barely escaped from that area in time. There was also a huge storm down here happening. The storms went on for weeks. But now now, I am actually too hot in the mornings. And I have to put the fan on.
That’s all for now. I was gonna write a long blog. But it would be rambling.
Am I An Atheist?
It’s almost Christmas, and I cannot help remembering where I was and what I was doing this time last year. I’d just moved back to the area from the high Sierras. And I was not a very “happy camper”. But I’d also gotten word that I’d gotten my job back and that I was to start work soon.
Last night I got water on my cell phone and it stopped working. I remember that this exact time last year, I’d done the same thing. Except that it was apple juice that I dropped my Smart Phone in. Needless to say, it stopped working. So this morning I couldn’t help but remember this time last year. And I stopped myself from getting upset. I remember how much better off I am now, a year later. I have insurance on the cell this time too. So I’m having a replacement sent to me. Since after last year, with no way to get another phone, as I didn’t have insurance, I’m never going without it again.
When I think of Christmas, I can recall those days as the most peaceful. On Christmas Eve we got to open one gift after going to mass at the Catholic church. My sister, brother and I would pick out our one gift days before that night. Sometimes we’d even open the wrapping and look inside, that is, if our parents couldn’t catch us. Our parents always made sure that we had a wonderful Christmas. Whether it was a new ten speed bike or something else. I always got nice gifts. And from our grandparents too. After unwrapping our home gifts, we’d then go to our grandparent’s home, and unwrap another entire Christmas tree, full of gifts.
Yes we were “spoiled” for presents. On Christmas day, after the morning of unwrapping, our house was the one that all of the kids in the neighborhood flocked too. It was because we got all the toys that their parents couldn’t afford to buy. At the time Ididn’t realize this. But now I do.
But putting all presents aside, I would try to give back all of the material possessions that I was given, to only have just one year of domestic peace, when it wasn’t Christmas. I can guess now, that by giving gifts, parents do so in order to make up for what they cannot give, emotionally or anything else. Sorry to sound like a scrooge.
Lately I’ve been feeling like a “non-christian”. That is, I just don’t much believe in the religious aspect of Christmas. And believe that it’s really for children and the economy. Oh I do sent out cute cards to all of my friends and the family that I do still keep in touch with. But as an adult, it just isn’t the same. After all of the emotions and events that I’ve been through within the last few years, I have lost my “faith in God”. And also learned that I am getting along without it, even better. I guess I can now say that I’m an Atheist. I didn’t even know how to spell that word until recently.
My Grandfather would not be happy.
Since 2006 I’ve been spending my Christmas mornings at the WISE Place. I love the staff here. And it just feels right to be here instead of somewhere else.
The Semester is Over
I had my web design final 2 Fridays ago. I think I saved a couple of the websites that I created.
This is a sort of rough page, a lot like the final site. Except that the site I have has links and lots of little sprites on it. This is a sprite. 
Here are some other kids of pixel art. My final site was a pixel doll art site.
I made 4 other websites also. But I think I’ll just upload these pics above. It was a fun class. The teacher Hassaan is a good teacher, and knows a lot about web design.
It’s beginning to get cold lately. And my apartment isn’t air-tight. I really need to get another heater and more blankets. But hey, I am super thankful to have a home now.
I took my lil’ car into my awesome mechanic’s last week also. It needed a fuel pump, oil and filter change and tune up. I really didn’t have the money, I’d just paid my rent. (on time). So he let me write 2 checks to split the cost in half. The entire job cost $250. I thought that was cheap. He’s a good guy. I was literally there all day until 10:00 p.m. And got the scoop on everything from a volunteer guy who works for him. He talks too much about my mechanic. I now know a lot more about my mechanic than I’ve known in the 10 years I’ve been going there with my car.
I’m supposed to go back after he finds some wiring that he needs for my car. He says he can get if off another car, so that I don’t have to “cough up” $35.
I’ve been feeling pretty good lately, all in all. Except that I keep getting sinus infections. I had a painful migraine a couple days ago, that made me want to scream. I took an Excedrine PM and went to bed. And it was gone the next day.
The stinking elevator in my apartments is breaking down almost every day. I wouldn’t care, except that it’s next to the wall, on the other side of my room where I sleep. And I can hear it going up and down when it breaks. It gets stuck going up and down for hours. And nobody can get on it, or off it either! So I’ve been avoiding riding on it, unless I am bringing up groceries.
And what do I do in my free time?( I have a lot of it when not working). I read read read. I have been reading so much. And I also go to 3 different libraries. Oh and I’ve been sketching. My sketches are all on my little site. My Enchanted Art Site.
Places Unseen
I finally made it up north to get my belongings out of storage. I did it in 3 days! I left Monday morning around 11 and returned Wednesday night here, around 5 p.m. Here is my apartment complex, before I left. 
Round trip the miles were 1,002. And don’t even ask me about the gasoline money. I do believe that it was worth the trip. As now I have my things here in my apartment. Today I took stock of everything I have. And I am missing my computer monitor, speakers, printer, a Breyer black stallion horse statue. And of course the new Singer sewing machine that was stolen out of the van, while I was sleeping at the Modesto Days Inn. I’ll get back to that later.
I took lots of pictures. I think not enough though. As it was so beautiful, on the way there, and on the way back. I thought, wow, it’s hard to imagine countryside as beautiful as this, while living in a city. But there are places like that, and it was so good to see it all.
What I did was, I drove up the 5 and stopped in Sylmar and took pictures of my old neighborhood. We (the family that used to be), lived in a rural area. It isn’t so rurual any more though. And all of the places where we used to ride our horses are now built upon. Here is our old house. It looks completely different. It had a circular driveway and still does. The property was surrounded with olive trees, like it was in the middle of an olive orchard. And it kinda was, as well as every other house in the area. It seemed that sylmar was a huge olive orchard. And where there weren’t olive trees, there were pomegranite trees. I remember it being so much bigger then.
Here are some houses where friends used to live.
The house below is where my friends and I and my brother used to go to smoke cigarettes. Once we took a dump in the closet. The house was vacant for a long time. And we used it a lot to do that. And when a family bought it, the kids became our friends. And we told them what we did in their closet. It was hilarious, the trouble we used to get into.
The shed above used to be a sheep barn. The Veronnis used to own it and lots of sheep. I used to carpool to Catholic school with them. I remember once while being driven to school one morning what for some reason I have never forgotten. One of the daughters had moved out of the home. And she was telling her mother, Mrs. Veronni, that she will have to bring over some food to her, as she didn’t have any food. Mrs. Veronni had a bad temper, and started to yell saying “the sheep are more important than you are!” It just seemed to me, that the mother was mad at her about something other than sheep.
This picture below is of a scarecrow that someone put right on the corner. It looked cool there. 
So after toolin around Sylmar I headed over the grapevine. I never realized how close Sylmar was to the grapevine. It wasn’t so difficult to drive over it in the vehicle I was driving. I had a Dodge Caravan. I liked it so much that I think my next car will be a van, but not a Dodge, maybe a Ford.
I stopped in a little town and ate at Dennys. And then drove up to Andersons Split Pea Soup place. But I didn’t like the prices of the menu or the gift shop. So I made some calls on my cell and hit the road again. I made it to Stockton at about 6 p.m. and called my friends Tracy and Harold in Sacramento. They were expecting me. I spent the night there. I lived in Sac for about 10 years.
Here is a shot of Tracy in the morning before I left.
And her bunny who hangs out in the chicken coup with the chickens.
As I drove out of Sacramento to the cutoff to Jackson, the one thing I noticed was how slow people were driving. So I headed up a road that said “Jackson”, which turned into a beautiful highway that goes up to the 49, and then that leads to the 88. I took a few pictures on that road.
I couldn’t believe that I never found this highway, during all of the years that I lived in Sacramento
And I had to find a knick-knack store. Around Jackson I found this one, with lots of overpriced bear statues and figurines. 
My plan, once I got my stuff loaded, was to drive over Carson Pass to Markleeville, stop and eat. And then drive down the Ebbets Pass, which is Highway 4. But that didn’t happen. Once I got to Markleeville, I found that the pass was closed, Ebbets Pass, even though there wasn’t snow. Thanks Cal Trans. So I had to drive all the way back over Carson Pass, back up the mountain, through Kirkwood again, and then back down the 88 to the 49. And guess what? There was another Cal Trans snafu. They had a road block, to clear bolders off the mountain side. So I got out and took more pictures. 
Here is one while waiting at the road block at Carson Pass, which is 8,750 foot elevation.
And when I am that far up, I don’t get any cell phone reception. So I can’t sit and chat on the phone while I wait. So I took another picture. 
I took a few more on the way up to Kirkwood. I think this was along highway 88.
After I drove through Jackson, I went through Calaveras county, on the way to Stockton. This was beautiful countryside.
At this point the batteries in my camera went dead. I think this was the last picture I made, out of the window of the van. 
I would’ve taken a lot more pictures than I did, but I had to be in Modesto that night. I had reservations at the Days Inn. And I was tired too.
The only bad part of the trip was when I woke up in the morning at the Days Inn Modesto and someone had smashed the back window out, taking the Singer Sewing machine and a couple of bags of stuff I had. I think maybe those bags had my other belongings in them. But the sewing machine was a good one, given to me by an organization. It bummed me out.
But I got to sleep in a super nice motel room, with a huge bathtub. (I have a bathrub at home too). And I had a Continental breakfast with coffee. And they have high speed Internet to use also. And of course I got to watch cable t.v. I was going to stay there until checkout, which was noon. But once I saw the window, I decided to get on the road, after I made a police report over the phone and called the Hertz place to report it.
I drove down the 99 to the 5, and made it home by 5 p.m. I could feel the temperature get about 10 degrees warmner as I came over the Grapevine and down into Los Angeles. And then the traffic! I got stuck in it. And I was so tired when I got home. I was dizzy. And then for 2 days I was totally exhausted. I was missing my Nala kid so much. When I walked in the door, she came out of the bathroom and mewed twice really fast. She didn’t seem upset, but happy to see me. And it made me happy to see her. I thought she’d be ignoring me.
I should’ve slept the next day, but I had to unload the van and then return it to Hertz. I could tell the manager at Hertz was surprised by how the back window looked. But I’d already called him when it happened and told him about it. I pulled off the road in Fresno and called him. After the vandalism I felt really anxious and nervous, and actually mad as hell.
So it’s been a week or so since I’ve been back. And I just finished unpacking almost everything. Now all I need is to buy some kind of drawers and also bookshelves. As I have to many books and more clothes now.
I got email from my manger saying we’ll be going back to work for at least a year, on January 15th, 2012. But he didn’t want me to contact anybody else from the team. Because he didn’t know how many he’d be needing.
So I’ve been concentrating on school and working at the library. As soon as I get my final website finished, I’ll post the pages here in jog format.
A Road Trip Up North
Lately as usual, I’m reading a lot of novels. This is a really good one. I picked it up at the “help yourself” shelf at the library where I volunteer. And I am glad that I did, it’s a very good book. It’s called Taming It Down.
Taming It Down
I also just read…A Drop Of The Hard Stuff, another good book. But all about drinkers and the AA crowd, not my cup of tea. But well written.
A Drop of the Hard Stuff
And this one by Steve Martin, he is really a good writer, Shopgirl. I love his books.
Shopgirl
I’m taking a trip back to northern California, to get my belongings that I left up in Kirkwood. But this time it’s planned. I reserved a mini-van, with the help of my mother. I’ve never rented a car before, except once when a car was stolen. But that was a long time ago. So I did it this time through AAA. And so far the Hertz people aren’t charging a deposit fee. I was dreading a $200 deposit.
My plans are to leave early Tuesday morning, getting to Sacramento that night. I’m staying with my friends Tracy and Harold. I’ve kept in touch with friends there, I used to live there. So I’m looking forward to that.
On Wednesday I’m making my way acroos the 50, towards the high Sierras. And then to Kirkwood. I kind of wanted to go another way, through Jackson. But the 50 looks like a good route, through Placerville. Then when I get to Kirkwood I think that my friend Wade will be there to help me load my things. He took them and stored it all, so that the idiot Larry would not throw it all out. I am so thankful that there are nice people, like Wade.
After leaving Kirkwood, I want to go down the 4 highway, to the 99. I made reservations at the Howard Johnsons in Modesto, on the way back down the 99. I chose them because they were cheapest, with an “expanded” Continental breakfast. I like to be able to kind of ease myself into the day, now. And I like coffee in the morning, without having to leave to go somewhere. After that I drive home, down the 99 to the 5. And then home.
I’m feeling nervous about leaving my kitty Nala for this long. She has never been alone for 2 days like this. I may ask someone to check in on her. But that would not really help, as she is afraid of everyone, especially men. I’ll need to leave her lots of food, water and just kind of hurry up.
I don’t know for sure, but I may not even have room in my tiny apartment for all of my stuff. I guess I’ll find out.
School’s been fun. We’re making websites, in Photoshop and Illustrator. I’m on my fourth site. This next one is the final. I’m not yet sure what I’ll be doing. But I think I’m looking at making a fashion sketch site.
I wanted to add, that my mother’s been so helpful and understanding lately. And that I don’t know how I’d get through some of these hard times without her. I guess that she and I are both working at having a relationship. And it’s nice actually, having a mother in my life.
I’ve uploaded my sketching to a site called Deviant Art, My profile username is Cinamingrl20.
Cave Dwelling
A few mornings ago, I woke after a really interesting dream. My friend Tiana was in it too. In my dream I was going to visit her. She lived in a nicely decorated cave. To get there I had to drive through a beautiful foresty, lush green area, with a meandering creek running through the area. It was a nice dream. So I called Tiana and told her about the dream. As I told her about it, there were parts of it that she recognized as events that were happening in her life now, in present time. And these were things that I didn’t conciously know about. Like the part where she was wearing a green shirt that I thought made her blue eyes stand out. And the part where she was telling me that she had to stay to be in her city when her daughter graduates from high school. So she said that morning when I called her, that she had been thinking about moving back here to where I live. But that she didn’t want to do it until her daughter graduates. And that green is her favorite color. How did I know that? She also said that she liked the idea about the cave to live in.
This dream inspired me to look on the Internet for cave dwellings:
